Singing to the Tune of the Holy Ghost

Dearest Mother,

Due to unplanned service this morning, I don't have too much time on emailing today, so my email will probably be on a little bit of the shorter side. There is just way too many things to do today!! It's kind of exciting though:) I learned this week the importance of having the Spirit with you all the time, and the power that the Spirit has in helping people come closer to Christ.

So... We are teaching an older lady who has a lot of health issues. She at one point had a surgery on her heart, but then recently her heart started leaking again (because I am not a doctor I know know the terminology so I might be accidentally making it sound worse then what it is) and so she has been back and forth to the hospital for high blood pressure. Her ankles are extremely swollen and so the doctors also gave her some medicine for that. We went and visited her this last week, and we were lucky to have caught her because she had just gotten back from the hospital that day. She was pretty sleep from the drugs they gave her, but she told us to come inside and talk to her anyway. We decided to teach her about the Word of Wisdom because of previous issues that she had with it, and we knew that if she'd commit to follow it that she would feel a lot better. We had also been teaching that to a lot of people because of the realization that all of us can work on it. But I will get to that part later. Anyway, we were in the middle of sharing a part of it, when she fell asleep on us. I stopped talking mid sentence, and my companion and I looked at each other. We tried a few times to wake her up by just speaking a little louder, but that didn't work. About a minute later she woke up. She felt so bad about it, but we told her it was ok, and that we would come back another time. We always end with a hymn though because she loves to hear us sing. So we decided to sing "Did You Think to Pray?" For whatever reason, my companion and I BOTH IN SYNC began to sing the words but to a completely different tune. We are looking at the little hymn book I carry with me, and we are confused as to why the notes don't match what we sing. But we go with it. We somehow transition to the actually song about halfway through, and we only do one verse. So we ended singing the right hymn. We have absolutely no idea what just happened, and we have no idea how we could not only be off, but off together that we were having a really hard time keeping our faces straight. The whole lesson just made us giggle. I've never had anyone fall asleep on me before when I was teaching them. The lady after we finished was crying and she told us we sounded like angels. She wanted us to record it so she could listen to us sing all the day long. Considering we sang the wrong song, and it isn't really supposed to work well that was funny to us. Well we said a prayer, and then we head out to leave. When we get to the car, we bust out laughing. We figured out the tune that we were using was "Israel, Israel, God is calling" and we tried to reproduce what we did and failed miserably.. I'm not sure why we ended up doing what we did, but I do know that the Spirit definitely guided both of our voices. There was no other way we could have done that, and had the Spirit touch her so strongly. Plus the fact that both of us did it and we weren't ever singing different notes was pretty amazing too. And then you add to it that neither of us have heard that tune in a few weeks and it is pretty amazing that that was the one that came out of both of our mouths. I love the way the Spirit works. :)

So the thing about the Word of Wisdom that we both realized. First we heard that President Monson spoke about the Word of Wisdom in the Priesthood session of conference. There was also quite a bit of attention given to it in the other sessions as well. So rather then say that we are perfect at the Word of Wisdom, we dug a little deeper into it. Realization #1-The Word of Wisdom is more then just Thou Shalt Nots.. There is more to it then don't do drugs, or drink tea, coffee, or alcohol. There are lots of thou shalts. The easiest way to break it down is by saying to eat healthy, get adequate sleep, and exercise daily. Too many people focus so much on the negative things of what they shouldn't be doing that they ignore the things that we should be doing. And then people get discouraged when they can't seem to stop whatever it is that God wants them to stop, and so they give up. Especially when they see other people who seem to be living it perfectly, and even though we shouldn't, they compare themselves to them. Realization #2-ALL OF US have something we could work on in the Word of Wisdom. For example, me. I hate exercising, but the Word of Wisdom says to exercise daily. So that's what I need to do. Some people have trouble with eating healthy. Eating healthy means not so much fatty foods and sugar, but more grains and fruits and veggies. Some people, like me, will either over sleep or not sleep enough. Any of those three things are important and are part of the Word of Wisdom. So we decided to teach it to everyone, and help all of them understand that there is always somewhere that we can improve. Its pretty awesome sometimes when you realize that there is so much more for us to learn. I love learning!

Love you all!! Be safe:)
-Sister Monica Walker

Testimony: Never too little, Never too small

Dearest Mother,

So its interesting how things work out sometimes.. I will of course keep Grandma (and Grandpa but specifically Grandma) in my prayers. I did however think about them all this morning, and the first thing that I did when I got on today was send them an email about how much I love and appreciate them. And then I read your email. I love the way the Spirit works sometimes:)

Patiently is usually the best way to answer questions that people have about the church. As I am sure you faced as well coming on a mission, there are a lot of people with a lot of question. Not all of them are nice. Most of the not so nice ones are only trying to get a rise out of us as missionaries and argue with us. And then when that happens, the Spirit will not be there. After all it does not stay with contention. I think that was the best response that you could have given to them, even if you physically couldn't be as strong as normal. I imagine it is very similar to the way the Quorum of the 12 and the First Presidency feels every time they get up to speak, especially those that are more advanced in age. There is a power to the Lord using us in our weaknesses. I'm sure the younger man was impressed with you even if he decided not to agree with you. I always am impressed with people's commitments when they express their beliefs here in the south. As long as they aren't trying to tear my beliefs down, I love hearing about their own. I wonder what they thought when you sat down? I wonder if they felt the power in your voice, the testimony that you had when you bore your testimony to them? I'm sure that even if they weren't in a position to hear it, you did exactly what Heavenly Father wanted you to do. I can't help but think of Abinadi. How sad it is that he died thinking that no one heeded him. Little did he know that one priest, one of the company of his accusers heard and listened, and repented. Look at the magnitude of people Abinadi was able to affect by his act? You would think that by the miracles and the signs that were shown to the people that more would have been affected by Abinadi, and maybe they were and we don't have that record, but among the rulers of that group of people, her only affected one, but that one affected so many others! No effort to further the Lord's work ever goes unused or wasted. Every small gift of a testimony, every action, every word, is recorded. Everything is used. Whether to plant seeds or to harvest, each have a part in the conversion. You have an affect in mine, and through mine, my companions, my friends, my investigators, the members here. It is never too little. It is never too small. I wish we could sometimes see the big picture so that we could understand the full scope of the decisions that we have and will make, but alas, that is a part of this life in mortality. We will never understand exactly how our choices will affect others while we are still living them out. Prophetic counsel is always a wise thing to listen to. Especially since it will always help you in ways that you would never know. They really do know what we need to hear. The Lord is clever to be helping us from all sides.

That's pretty smart to bribe Robert to stop completely.. Was it really that scary with all of us? I would have liked the whole bribery thing too. I promise I am better at driving now.. Granted we have monitors hooked up to the car, and I still get yelled at occasionally, but 98% of the time its due to incorrect speed limits in the tiwi, or ones that are really annoying, like the fact that our apartment complex has a speed limit of 5 miles an hour and there is a big hill to get up to it. That one gets me when I drive up it. MY companion always gets that one too. 

Love you lots Mother!! You are in my prayers all the time as well:):)

Love,

Sister Monica Walker

General Conference

Dearest Madre,

What a week it has been!!! I'm not even sure how it is Monday already. It has seriously just flown by. This week was a little more difficult in missionary work since it seemed like no one was home, or no one wanted to answer, but the different meetings we have had this week have been a huge boost to me. It was awesome:) I really do love being a missionary!!

Oh! Here's a story I thought was very sweet. So we have this investigator named Victoria. When we first met her, we were actually focusing on teaching her roommate. She declined sitting with us and talking and at the end when we asked her if she wanted to join us in the prayer she said no because we weren't Christian we were Mormons, and then she walked out so we weren't really able to tell her that yes we really do believe in Christ. Her roommate laughed and said she knew we were Christian, and to just ignore Victoria. Obviously we didn't. The next time we came by the roommate wasn't there, so we sat and talked to Victoria. We were able to share with her our beliefs in Christ and how everything that we teach is focused on Christ. Anyway, fast forward to a few lessons later, and we get talking about missionary work and what it is that we do all day (I may or may not have been falling asleep). We basically gave her the daily schedule of a missionary, and she was in complete shock. We saw her last week, and after the lesson she told us that we needed to make sure that we are getting the sleep we need because she is worried for us. It was super cute! We assured her we were fine, but I can honestly say it is the most tired I have been in a long time. That's why I need two weeks of sleep when I get home. Hahaha.. We joke about that all the time. However on a serious note, I honestly believe that the Lord is helping me everyday to be able to do everything that he requires of me. It is the best!

Yes we do get to watch all of conference as long as nothing else is going on that would stop us. For example, the Elders in my ward had to miss most of the Sunday Morning session because they had to go on Post and have the normal Sacrament meeting with the recruits. Since they aren't allowed to watch TV, church was like normal for them. Other then things like that though, we get to watch it. We usually go to the church to watch it, but if we don't have it being broadcast to the church, then we go to a member's home. I realized though that I really like going to the church to watch conference. There is a different kind of Spirit there when you don't have distractions, and you are sitting in the chapel watching it. BEST. THING. EVER.

It was an interesting conference this time, because I had the realization that this would be my last conference as a full-time missionary. The next time conference comes around I will be back in school!! So it was interesting the mix of things I was getting as I was listening to conference. A huge theme for me was the joy of the gospel. I seriously loved that part about how as missionaries, we teach everyone, and we are supposed to teach them in a like manner to teaching our own children. Not treating them like a child, but being careful with giving them too much before they have had time to swallow what we have already said. And then I thought about the reverse too, how as a mother, I want to teach my children the same way that I have been teaching my investigators and the less actives here on my mission. All the messages I got were a strange combination of being a missionary and also being a mother. I now have goals that I want to accomplish in my last few months of being a missionary, but I also have goals of what I want to do when I am a mother. I want to continue that tradition of making everything a gospel related event, like how you have done all my life, and how grandpa has done to you. I think that is a wonderful tradition that I want to keep for my future family. A huge thing that I learned for my life in the long term is the real fact of my mission being a prepatory time for the rest of my life. I have discovered that there are many trials that I go through not because I have done anything wrong or that other people do something wrong that affects me (although there are my fair share of those) but because I need to experience so that I can understand someone else better and be able to help them. One thing I have never lost through anything is the hope that Christ gives us. The hope of a brighter tomorrow, the hope of peace, the hope of eternal family, etc. Hope is key to happiness and joy. I can get through these hard trials not because I am strong, but because I have hope in a Savior and a wonderful glorious Plan of my Father. These two things cause me to continue to act in a way that will get me to where I want to be despite the many hardships that I might be going through at the time. Hope is wonderful. I love hope. 

Alas, time again has got the best of me. I love you so much!!

-Sister Monica Walker

Strengthen Those Around You

Dear Mother,

Have I ever told you how cool I think you are? Seriously. I have been trying on my mission to learn Spanish, as I told you a few months ago, and in large part is it because of you. I talk about you all the time. You are awesome! I remember throughout my life how you have been called to visit teach the Hispanic members of our ward, and how your visiting teachers were often Spanish speakers. I remember you being worried because it had been so long since you had spoken in Spanish on a regular basis that you found it hard to communicate with those sisters, and you always just hoped that they would forgive you for the mistakes you made and to help you relearn to be fluent. I remember listening to you in the other room, or making some excuse to walk up the stairs just so I could hear you speak to them in a language I couldn't understand. It fascinated me. I took Spanish for three years and honestly still couldn't speak it very well. Mostly that's because I didn't study as much as I could have, but whatever the case I was a little disappointed because I always wanted to be able to speak another language fluently. I kind of hoped to speak another language on my mission, but I was sent to Georgia (granted they do have their own form of English which I love, but at first it disappointed me). When the opportunity presented itself to me that I would be able to teach someone here in Spanish I was so excited!! Finally I would be able to learn something, even if it was small.. Sadly, they ended up moving a few weeks ago, so there hasn't been much in development of fluent Spanish speaking for me. It's still a goal I have, and I'm working on the patience and the diligence needed to learn it, but I think it is awesome that the Lord has used you in such a way that talents and skills that you learned years ago when you were my age!! are helping you now. And through you, others are also being blessed. How cool is that! The fact that you can still use those talents means to me that you have used them in the way that Heavenly Father wants you to, and He is going to continue to use them far into the eternities. How lucky you are for that! I want to be like that when I am your age:)

Yesterday at the dinner I had with some of the members of the ward I was so touched by some of the things that was shared that it left me, and pretty much everyone in the room in tears. One of the members who was the ward secretary, spoke about how it is hard for him to sometimes encourage missionaries to bring new members into the ward, because he sees all these people that are already in the ward that the ward isn't taking care of (as it is with every ward) and he worries that adding more will not help. However, he knows that the Lord has a better plan then what we might know, and so he and one of the other members here who is on the high council decided (all on their own!) that they were going to go on splits with the Elders for a few hours every week so that the investigators and the less actives can come back into the fold. He then bore a powerful witness that it doesn't happen due to how people teach, or how things are done, or even what is said. The only way that people will come closer to Christ is through the love that they show for them and for Christ. He then started crying and said that to him the most devastating thing is watching your friends slip away from the truth that they know and quit coming to church, but the happiest moments are when they come back. He wants so bad for everyone to feel that and for everyone to love them as much as he does and as much as Heavenly Father does, and to hear the marvelous choir of angels shouting for joy each time someone comes into church, whether for the 5000th time in a row, or the 1st time in years. Remember that email I sent a while ago about the less active that came to church for the first time in 10 years and how I screamed with excitement? Yep. Totally should happen every time, but maybe with more reverence.. haha. My question posed to you, is how many people do you know in your ward at home? How many people are perishing with want for help, and none are there to help? I'm not saying its up to one person to fellowship and bring everyone back to church, but at the very least we could love them! I looked at our ward roster a few weeks ago, and I don't know hardly anyone! I know there will be lots of new faces that I will learn when I come back, but I think of the people that we don't know. Our ward boundaries aren't very large, especially considering places like here where the ward boundaries are 7 1/2 counties. My goal when I get home to to find time to visit at least one family I don't know a day. I have no idea if it will work out, but I want to try. I want to do more then just fellowship at church. I want these people to know that they are loved even if they have never come to church. All of us are children of loving Heavenly Parents, and because I love and respect my Heavenly Parents, should I know love and respect those that they love too? My brothers. My sisters. MY family! I don't even know the lengths I would go to help you or Dad or any one of my siblings. Should it not be the same for everyone else? Granted, I, nor anyone else is perfect, so understandably we will never be able to love everyone as much as they need, but even if I can learn to love one more person, and they know it, they can in turn help another person, and they another until eventually everyone is taken care of. Thats what I want to be able to do. We shall see if this conviction of mine stays when life not as a missionary come back to full force. 

There is so much more I want to say, but I keep running out of time. Remember I love you lots!

Oh, some housekeeping items:

• Transfers are this next week.. My companion is going home Sunday and I have no idea if I am getting transferred or not, if I do get transferred, I will have the three hours at church to say goodbye to everyone I want to and then I will be gone. Kind of strange. 
• Next Monday is a holiday and so I don't know if I will be able to email home. It all depends on whether or not I will be in an area where they have a key to the Family History Center or not. We shall see.. And then with transfers, and my not knowing if I will be transferred or not..
• I ONLY HAVE ONE MORE TRANSFER AFTER THIS NEXT ONE!!! That is absolutely mind blowing to me...

Love,

Sister Monica Walker

Peace, Trust, and Raindrop Blessings

Dearest Mother,

I love that idea that going to the Savior heals us. I have honestly come to appreciate the Atonement so much for that!! The sacrifice that our Savior gave wasn't just for the sins of the world, but for all the heartache and suffering that we could possibly go through. He is there wanting to heal us, but He will never force it on us, we must reach the depths of humility and admit to ourselves, and to Him that we need help, that we want it, and then we must act on that to receive His help. This is not because He likes to watch us suffer, or because He wants us to feel a little of what He suffered for us. I am sure if it were somehow possible for us to learn all that we were here to learn without having to go through pain, He would somehow make it possible. But He knows, that we still have agency, that it is all our decision on whether or not we will accept help, and He knows there are some things that we can only learn through those tests and trials. Its a lot like learning at school. As much as you can pass a test on the knowledge or theories of how something should work, it isn't until you practice applying it that it will make sense and work better for you. I think better explained would be to compare it to learning to play an instrument. I don't know how to play the cello, I would love to learn, and I think it is beautiful. I know the theory behind it. I know how to read music, and so some might say that I could play, but I have no idea how to make my fingers work the way they should to make the notes sound beautiful and not off. I don't have the strength in my fingers to hold notes with my hand stretched without my hand cramping or giving way. There will always be an instructor there to help guide me and show me the better way to learn, and to reduce the pain, but only if I am willing to listen in my humility. That doesn't mean He can do all the work for me and I am automatically a world renowned cellist. I must put the work in for myself. The same works with our lives. The Savior is there waiting on the sidelines, the most glorious epitome of humanity. He knows exactly what I must do in my mortal state to create the most beautiful harmony of my life, and here I am struggling to find the melody in my life, and finding myself with sore arms and fingers and blisters and lots of other not fun things that come from learning something new, but He the Master Musician is waiting to help bandage my injuries to soothe my aches, and to show me by example how to perform life to its fullest. I must turn and watch Him. That is the only catch. If I am not turned toward Him and watching, and trying and emulating, then I will not improve, I will be frustrated, I will quit. Sorry this thought might be all jumbled together, but I really do love that idea that the Savior is there to heal us if we but turn to Him. There is so much power in that statement He said quoted in the New Testament "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you" (John 14:18) or even later in that same chapter He tells those around Him who are listening "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled neither let it be afraid." It is in Christ that we can find that peace. No matter where we are or who we are with or what we are doing. It is only through the Savior that true lasting peace can be found.

At the Zone Training Meeting we had two weeks ago, one of the Sisters gave a training on trust. Trust in the Lord, Trust in our companions, and Trust in our leaders. I have felt like there are been lots of trainings on trust in recent times. I know I have mentioned it before in past emails, but I still think that all of us can learn something new every time we are taught about it. Honestly if we all had perfect trust in the Lord then we would never do anything wrong, because we would trust His word that this was what was best for us. One of the Elders mentioned this idea too, but he proceeded it by asking us who our favorite scripture heroes were. Every single one of them is trustworthy, and that is a main reason why many of us look up to them. We then discussed the different reasons why missionaries are considered trustworthy or not, to the members, the mission president, or even to the Lord. It all boils down to obedience, which of course if we trusted the Lord, our obedience would be a much easier decision to make then if we had no trust and either had to make a leap of faith or trust in our own capabilities to make up for it ourselves. As is with many things in the gospel, trust is seriously one of main foundation blocks to building a better life, to being happy and having that peace previously mentioned. Faith plays a huge part as well, as does love and repentance, and lots of other things, but trust for me seems to sometimes be harder then all the rest of that. Mostly because as humans we will all experience at least one moment in our lives where we trusted and someone breaks that trust, whether maliciously or naively, and we begin to doubt the possibility of ever being able to fully trust someone ever again. We become hardened to the idea, and even begin to keep parts of ourselves secret and close, so that it wont get hurt again. Of course Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ do not want us to be like that, they do not like to see us hurt or bitter or holding back, because when we are, we will not be able to receive the fullness of the blessings that He wants to give us.

One of the other things that we learned was about the symbolism of "the Cross." Many in Christian faiths wear crosses around their necks or have them prominently displayed in their places of worship. We are asked often why we do not, or why our churches do not have crosses in them. Especially being here in the south that is a very common thing for people to wear or see when they are of a Christian faith. I always would tell anyone who asked it is because we do not focus on His death, but on His life and His resurrection. We were trained a little bit on that idea, but rather then because we focus on His resurrection, which by the way is still true, the idea was proposed that it is because we carry His cross in ways that are not visible to those around us. I think of that man that was a stranger to Jerusalem who was commissioned by the soldiers to help Christ carry the cross when after immense suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane, the torture and suffering, inflicted by the guards when they held him imprisoned, and then the mockery and other cruel things they subjected Him, the Savior of even them, His mortal body pushed beyond anything asked of anyone else, He could no longer lift His cross. The only person I can think of during His mortal ministry that was able to physically help Christ, was that stranger who lifted the cross and endured the humiliation and degradation known only to those judged traitors. We are each asked in our own way to bear a part of that cross. Would we have been willing to carry that cross for Christ with hundreds if not thousands of people spitting and swearing and belittling us all along the way? Did we answer honestly? I will not ever know if I would have or not, because I was not there, but in a small way, the Savior has asked us to bear our own crosses in each of our lives. There will be humiliation, suffering, torture, confusion, and many more trials for being Christian. I cannot even count the number of doors that have been slammed in my face or people who mock my beliefs, or say crude things to me because of the things that I believe, or because of the things they incorrectly belief I believe. Through it all I am honored to in some small way bear His cross. I in an infinitely small way get to help lift the Cross of Christ. How honored I feel for that opportunity!! How wonderful this whole plan is! How glorious and exciting it will be to see the whole picture and see the hand of our Loving Heavenly Father in all that we do!

This last week for me was rough. Not for any particular reason, but it was (as will happen in life, some weeks are worse then others). One of my leaders committed me to write down every night three blessings of the day in a little book. I have named these blessing the raindrops of my day, mostly because I have come to really learn to love rain and the cool rain on a hot summer day. Some of my raindrops are simple things, like when my ward mission leader's wife made us treats for our Ward Correlation Meeting, some of them are more earnest like not crashing when I fell asleep driving. (Trust me, I take 5 mins every once in a while when I am driving far to get up and walk around or to take a short nap so that I will not be tired when I drive.) Each one of them, whatever the reason they are one of my raindrops that day, have a significant memory of that day for me. I am reminded of the hymn "Count Your Blessings". How true that is! The more you count your blessings, whether great or small, the more happiness and peace you will find in your life, no matter how hectic or crazy your day may be. Sometimes we have to live day by day not week by week, or month by month. But each day we must find those blessings, and really rely on the Lord when we are down that it will go away! We can find happiness!! It is not hidden and only VIP members can find it, but it is out in the open for all! My having happiness does not prevent you from being happy, but rather it somehow will augment others happiness. How great our happiness can be when we are all focused on being happy and helping others be happy! It will be awesome, and it is awesome. 

I love each of you!! You are all amazing individuals:)

Sending my love, forever and always,

Sister Monica Walker

No Perfect People, But True Church

Dearest Mother,

This week has been so crazy!! So many awesome things have happened.

First things first. I told you last week that we found out that we were moving last Wednesday. We literally had two days to pack up all our stuff and clean the whole apartment so that when we moved out, the Elders that moved in wouldn't have too much to complain about. Although we didn't have time to vacuum so I feel bad about all the hair they will find for the next little while.. Granted it has been a sister apartment for the last I don't know how long, so its possible that the hair will be forever ingrained in that apartment! Haha.. They said it would be ok though, and they appreciated us cleaning the rest of it for them. So Tuesday evening, the mission office couple over housing came down here and they took us out to eat. Wednesday morning, the four other Elders, us and the Senior couple got all of our stuff out of our old apartment and put the elders stuff in the apartment, and then went over to our new apartment (which by the way is literally just around the corner. Its the same apartment complex just a new number) and unpacked our stuff and our furniture and "new" stuff that the missionary couple brought us. (Their names by the way is Elder and Sister Grigsby.) Our new mission president's wife, Sister Grayson thinks that all the missionaries here should have a "home" to come home to, so she is making sure that we all have pictures on our walls and the like. It is very sweet of her, but it meant that we spent a while trying to make our apartment look like people lived in it, and not just stalkers with giant maps and people, and tons of church supplies.. I thought it was funny.. Very much appreciated though!

We had a awesome Zone Training Meeting Thursday. I cried through the whole thing. The Spirit was there so much! And everything was so uplifting! Saturday and Sunday were awesome too, because we had our Stake Conference, and we had a visiting General Authority come. His name is Elder Sitati, and he is from Kenya. He is a member of the first quorum of the 70 and he is over the area that I serve in. Im not sure how they classify this area, but that's all I really know. 

And sad to say, but I am again running out of time. I was hoping I would get the opportunity to write more about it, but it has been a crazy day, and we still have so much left to do! We have to fun over to Tifton in a minute for our interviews with our mission president, and so sadly I don't have as much time as I wish to to be able to write as much as I want to. I will bring my notebook with me next week too so that I can tell you all about each of those meetings:) But for now, just know that it is awesome to know that this church is true! It doesn't matter what people around you say, or whether they are seemingly of influence. No one ever claimed this church had perfect people, we just claim to have the fullness of the truth of Christ's gospel.

One question posed to me by my ward mission leader. If for some reason, something drove me away from coming to church, what would I then do with my life? Where would I go to find the spiritual nourishment that I need? Knowing what I know about authority, and the priesthood, and modern revelation, if I deny this church, I would never be able to find any other to even begin to compare to the spiritual power found in this one. If this church is not true, then the true church cannot be found anywhere on the earth!

However, I do know that this is the only church in the whole world that is led my God's loving guidance. I know we have a true and living prophet that receives revelation that helps each and every one of us every day! I know that we are loved by Him, and that he takes care of us even in the smallest of ways. I know that the Book of Mormon was written by Him through prophets that lived in America, and has the same power as the Bible in convincing people of His existence. I love this gospel!! And I will never allow anyone to convince me to leave. Because it is the source of all my happiness. Without it, I have no promise of a forever family, I have no promise of peace, I have no promise of love or of really anything. This gospel is my life. It is who I am. I will never ever regret that. I hope you never will either.

I love you all! I will talk to you next week!

-Sister Monica Walker

Still here!

Dearest Mother!

I am staying in Albany for another transfer! And my companion is staying too!! So This means I get to send her home which is cool because she was my MTC companion:) I'm so excited for the next 6 weeks!

You have Sister Missionaries now? Awesome!! That is so exciting! I hope they keep sister missionaries until I get home! That will be so fun to get to know them! :) Tell them when I come home, they should feel free to use me for miles and member presents (as long as it is ok that I use the car while I am home:)) I think that is it awesome that the visiting general authority encouraged y'all to have "gospel discussions" with your non-member friends! If nothing else, it will definitely increase your testimony of the truthfulness of the restored gospel! I hope one day everyone will do that.. It would make it so much more fun to be missionaries:)

President Grayson decided that he was going to put two more elders in our area! And they are going to get a car!! So then we will be able to go to the far away areas more often:) I am so excited for it because it means that there will be so many more people that will be able to be affected! President Grayson officially announced it during transfer calls last Saturday night, but we knew earlier in the week because he would call us what seemed like daily to ask about the area and where a good place for them to be living would be. Its been a pretty hectic week, but it is so worth it! 

I'm glad people are still thinking about me:) I think about all of you all the time and when I get the ward newsletters from Brother Martinez each month, I am just so amazed at how much everyone has grown since I have been gone.. Its crazy how the world changes when you are away from it for even a short while!

I remember at girls camp we were always warned about bears, but that bears never actually came close.. I'm amazed that they did come closer though. I have learned that sometimes it is needed so that we can learn the importance of obedience.. (Gospel tie in ready?) Sometimes we are told so many different times the dangers of the "bears" in our lives. Gossip, bad language, laziness, etc. They don't always hurt us, but the potential is always there.. Until it hits closer to home, or it walks in on you at camp, we think we are still doing good! So what if it isn't necessarily 100% right? everyone else is doing it! We start to roam at night, we start to leave our companion. There is a reason there is the buddy system whenever you are in potentially dangerous places. We can get lost, we won't know where to go! Hope is there! First, know that Heavenly Father is always there, if we but just listen. Understand commandments aren't meant to confine, but to protect and free.. Your choices become very limited if you decide to break the rule of not going into the deep forest at night and you come across a bear. That works the same in life.. It's amazing what Heavenly Father sees in our lives that He tries to warn us about, but because we are too stubborn we don't listen and we trip.. A lot. He is always there though ready to pick us up and help us move forward:)

In some good news!! One of our investigators is getting baptized on Saturday! I am so excited for her! I will talk about it more next week, but I wanted to let you know that because it was so exciting when she passed her interview last week!!! Yay!

Anyway, I love you all and I hope everything is going ok with life:)

Remember to always count your blessing, especially when you are down, to choose happiness, and always TRUST the Lord. He does know you and He knows what is best for you:)

Always and forever my love,

Sister Monica Walker

Reminiscing

Dearest Mother,

How wonderful of an opportunity that you had to be able to go to the Nauvoo temple! It really is a wonderful thing to be able to go to the temple. It is something that I think about a lot now that I am unable to go due to the distance and boundary restrictions of my mission. How fun for all of you to be able to have that opportunity though to go somewhere connected to the history of our church! I remember going to Palmyra when I was 16 and I was amazed at the realness of the lives that I had heard about all growing up. I cried when I went and saw Alvin Smith's grave for the first time. I felt peace every time I went to the Sacred Grove. I felt the enormity of Heavenly Father's love for me, His daughter sitting underneath a tree at the Palmyra temple grounds. I remember being disappointed the first time I went to the Sacred Grove, because I expected to feel a little bit closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ when I walked where they stood, and began the Restoration, and then I had an epiphany--I didn't feel any different from normal because I already had them with me all the time! I had been given the Gift of the Holy Ghost, and promised, that as long as I was doing what I was supposed to do, it would remain with me always. So of course it wasn't any different, because it was already there. Once I realized that, and I continued to go to the Sacred Grove every morning to study my scriptures, I realized that the Spirit began to be with me a little bit more every day. Eventually, during one of the last times I was there, and I realized exactly how much Heavenly Father loved me, a 16 year old girl from California, thats when I felt the Spirit the strongest. It wasn't a super crazy experience where I suddenly burned inside from the Holy Ghost confirming to me the truth of the conclusions I made, but more of a contentment that yes this was right, and yes, the Lord needs me where I am when I am there. That has honestly been a huge part of my mission as well. I don't feel any different from when I was home, even though I know that I am surrounded by His Spirit more often, as well as guided by His hand on a daily basis, so sometimes it is hard for me to think that anything has changed since I left, or that I am growing at all, or that anyone is getting something from what I teach and share. I get disappointed a lot with the progress that I personally am making on my trek back to Heavenly Father, but then I remember that I wont see much of the progress I made until I get home and someone else points it out to me.

The other day I was contemplating the personal progress I will have made by the time I get home, and I was remembering my brothers returning from home on their missions, and how much they had changed. I have always loved my brothers, and they have always loved me, and I knew that they always knew that they were sons of God. I do remember though when Ben came home from his mission, and how much more loving he was to me. I remember that before his mission, he didn't like hugs or kisses because it made him uncomfortable, and how Alex and I would tease him all the time and try to give him a hug or a kiss anyway. I remember before Ben had the strangest sense of humor (as really all of us do) and he made it a point to not smile in any of the pictures we took (still not sure why-stubbornness maybe?) But even through all of that, he was the best oldest brother ever, and he was so kind to each of us, and tried to make sure that we stayed on the straight and narrow especially when we might have strayed a bit. And then he left on his mission, and that was a hard time for me because of all the friends and family that died right before he left. His farewell was a bitter-sweet day because we heard of 3 people who had passed away, and then we had to listen to Ben give his farewell talk in church. I was scared he would leave and never come back. The morning he left he was set apart as a missionary, and I was praying for him, and Heavenly Father spoke to me and promised me that he would come home safe. I didn't think much about it after that, and then it was more or less a waiting game for him to come home. Josh and I grew really close in the few years following that before he left on his mission. We would go to Seminary every morning together, and we would laugh about a lot of different things. Josh was so kind and loving and hard working. I even remember that the Mormon Prom was a week before my 16th Birthday, and even though I technically wasn't allowed to go, I really wanted to go so that I could go with my brother to a dance. When he finally left for his mission as well, it wasn't as hard, because I still had that same promise from Heavenly Father for Josh as I did for Ben, but this time it was just unspoken. I would occasionally read the emails they sent home, and I watched from a distance to see the things that they grew to love in their various areas. I remember getting a picture for the first time of Ben smiling really big, and I remember you and I teasingly asking who he was because we didn't recognize the smiling handsome young man in the pictures:) And then Ben came home. I remember us going over to the Modesto airport to get him at night, and we had Sara with us because her parents were out of town. I remember the smile he had on his face, and then the confusion when the airport doors wouldn't open. haha.. I remember that over the next few weeks while he was home I saw a different side of him then I had seen before my mission. He told me he loved me more, he gave me hugs, he even took me to my winter formal! That was the only time I ever went to one of my school dances and he took me to it, even though he hates dances. :) He listened to me gripe about my life, and then gave me a hug and told me everything would be ok. He theorized with me. And then I went off to college and he went off to college, and I lived 15 mins away from Josh while he was on his mission. That awesome moment that I got to go to General Conference with my missionary brother and his companion, and their investigator, as well as my RM brother and his roommate from Japan. How wonderful of a reunion it was for them, because it had been 3 years since they had seen each other. (They even cried! and it made me cry too:)) And then I got to spend a few hours with Josh in the airport at the end of his mission because he and I got to fly home for Christmas together (I had just finished my semester). And then Dad joined us at the airport and there were so many tears! Since then, I have noticed how much more Josh loves each member of his family, and even the people who are random strangers. I see that he is so much more comfortable with who he is, because he knows that he is a son of God! He has divine heritage, just like the rest of us. Ben takes the time every week since near the beginning of my mission to write me a letter. Josh takes time out of every Monday to email me while I am online. I have watched them all my life, because they are my older brothers, and I love and admire them a lot. When I was thinking about all this the other day, I realized a couple of different things. One, although I can't necessarily see the change that has happened to me since I left on my mission, it will be fun to go home and hear what people notice that have changed (hopefully for the better. haha). I even asked the other missionaries in my ward what they thought had changed the most about themselves since the beginning of their mission, and when they asked me, I thought a lot about it. I think for me is that I will be a lot better at listening to people. I will have a lot more empathy for their trials. I will understand the depth of people's feelings goes a lot further then what I can sometimes see. I realize that my life is a lot better than I thought, and I have been blessed so greatly to have the family that I have. I will work so much harder when I get home to keep our family strong, because I don't want it to fall apart ever. We are going to be an eternal family, and I want to have the best relationships ever! 

The other thing I learned is about our Savior. I have watched and learned from my older brothers all my life, and I continue to do so, and probably will for the rest of my life. My Savior is the Eldest of all of us. He is the epic version of the best older brother ever! He sets the example for me everyday. He gives me advice when I need it. He cries with me when I am sad. He tells me everyday that He loves me. He set the way, carved my path with His Hands. He made it so easy for me, because now all I have to do is follow the example that He gave. I don't have to question if I'm carving my life the way it is supposed to be carved, because I'm not the carver. He is. I just follow. My life changes because I know Him. Like my older brothers, when they came home from their missions, I have no doubt that I will be different, if only because I am trying to be more like my Savior everyday!

One of my MTC friends sent me an email today about something that helps her going when things get hard. She says her brother always tells her that "God only gives His hardest battles to His strongest warriors." Life is hard. No one can ever honestly tell you otherwise. However, God knows that we can get through it. These trials and hard time will be but a moment. If we endure it well, we will be blessed! And how awesome of a brother that He would tell us how we can get through anything. We just have to listen to Him. 

I could go on and on about my family, and the influence that they have had on me, and the love that I have grown for them, even thousands of miles away, but alas, my time is up. Remember that I love you so much!! And you are a wonderful awesome mom to all of your kids! (Even if I am your favorite..)

Sending you all my love!

Sister Monica Walker

PS Alex and Robert I promise I love you as much as Ben and Josh, they just got highlighted this week.. I will probably talk about y'all in some future email too:) Maybe next week!

Finding People

Dearest Mother:)

This week has been super awesome! It also seems to have flown by, because of how much stuff we had going on. This week we had exchanges with the Sisters in Tifton, and I went there to Tifton. It was super fun because Sister DeMann, who I was with, had just finished being companions with one of my past companions Sister Dayton! So that was super cool to be able to talk with her about that and how they did in their previous area, and just reminisce about life in general. It was really fun:)

We went to try to visit some of the people in our ward that lived in the middle of nowhere Georgia, and we had a member come with us to help us try to track some of these people down. One of the places we went looked very secluded, and the member was afraid of getting shot (because we were in the middle of nowhere) and so she made us stop to say a prayer before we drove on their drive way. Their driveway was about a mile long and it felt like it just kept going on and on.. Finally we see a house only to discover that there are 4 houses! And none of them have numbers on them. We keep driving on the driveway, and it takes us up to the first house. We were going to get out so that we could knock on the door, but we see somebody walking back behind the house, so we follow them in the car and ask them if the member lives there. He said the guy did but that he lived in the back house and that we needed to continue down the driveway and take a left at the telephone pole and keep going until we hit his house. He told us though that he wasn't home, but his wife was. We thanked him, and then went back to go talk to the members wife. When we find her, she at first thought we were lost (they don't get very many visitors). When we explained who we were, who we were looking for, and why we were looking for him, she told us that he wasn't a member of our church. We asked if he had ever been a member of our church (because sometimes they were but because they stop going they think their records are gone) and she said he had been a member of their Baptist Church his whole life. She then told us we weren't the only people to think that that guy lived there, they get stuff for him and phone calls for him all the time. Apparently even the Sheriff called for the member guy once too. I asked her then her husbands full name, and it turns out his middle name is different than the members listed middle name, so unless it is the same guy and he changed his middle name for whatever reason, we had the wrong guy. It was pretty funny though and the lady was super nice, even though she wasn't all that interested in learning more about the Restored Gospel. 

While I was in Tifton, we traveled to a small town somewhere outside of Tifton, and it was really cool to meet all the differently people in the small little places around Georgia. It was also cool because we went to a gun shop to try to find an investigator of theirs who owns the place, and while we were there, they gave me a free pink t-shirt that has a gun on the back. Its pretty awesome:) I love being able to see how God is able to touch the lives of those who live so far away from anyone else, and how is still blesses their lives even when they don't have many of the things that I am used to in live. It is very humbling.

We also had our Zone Training Meeting, where Sister Danible and I had the opportunity to train the rest of the missionaries in our Zone. Usually we would train off the trainings we receive from our mission presidency, but we were unable to go to the last MLC because it was before transfers, and that MLC wasn't a normal MLC either because their was a general authority there who spoke the whole time instead of the mission presidency. So the Zone Leaders picked our topics and we got to plan a training off of that. My training was on Personal Revelation. I learned some interesting things about it which I wanted to share with y'all. First, it is important to understand that without personal revelation, none of us can be saved. Why? Because it is through personal revelation that all of us receive a witness that Jesus is the Christ, and that He is the Savior of all mankind. Second, personal revelation only comes through personal study. The Lord expects us to do our part before He gives us the answer. We have to ask a question before He can give us the answer. We have to try to find the answer ourselves as well. He gives us all these resources to look through and sometimes we just have to push through it all to find them. The object lesson that I did was that I had a dollar that I hid in plain sight, and had an Elder be blindfolded to try to find it where ever it was in the room. One of the sisters was the Spirit and her job was to make sure that she guided him to where it was using a soft voice, but she also couldn't touch him. Everyone else in the room was to be the distractions. One elder played the piano super loud, some of them yelled at him when he got close. Some Elders pushed chairs in his way as to make him stumble. Eventually he found the dollar. The point of it is to remind us that even when we know what we are looking for, and we know what the Spirit sounds like, we have to take the time to tune out the rest of the world in order to make the steps necessary to obtain it. The sister didn't just give him the dollar when he asked where to find it, he had to find it himself. But she did guide him to the place where he needed to go, and she even warned him of some of the dangers in his way. The same works with the Spirit. He doesn't always give us the answers. More often then not, we have to search for a long time before He will give us the place where it is.

Sunday, we met with our Spanish investigator again. We were a little worried though because the return missionary that we had previously asked to come with us to help teach couldn't come because he had family in town, and the investigator's niece who is usually the translator was out of town. We decided to go anyways, but were praying the whole way to help us be able to communicate with him. Luckily for us, earlier that day at church, we had 12 or so visitors at church that were going around selling Vivent, and most of them were return missionaries. One of them had recently returned from serving a mission in Mexico, and had told us that if we needed help that day to give him a call and he would do what he could to come help us. So we texted him and asked him if he would be willing to drive an hr away to help us with a lesson with a Spanish investigator of ours. He said yes!! That was a miracle in and of itself. Unfortunately we realized right before we left to the lesson that we were running out of gas (we had according to the car 70 miles left until the tank ran out) and the lesson was 44 miles away (in one direction). We discussed canceling the appointment, but we decided to go anyway. The whole way there we were praying that we wouldn't run out of gas, because we knew it was important for us to not go buy gas on the Sabbath, especially since it was because of our lack of preparation that caused the situation. We got there safe, and the member came with us to help us translate for our investigator. It was an awesome discussion though because we were able to figure out what was holding him back from baptism, and now that we know, we are going to try to work it out so that he can get baptized sooner than December. We are currently in contact with the missionaries there in Mexico so that we can mash out the details concerning his family. We are so excited for him though because he has such a strong testimony! We finish the lesson, and the member told us he was going to follow us home to make sure we were ok as we drove the many miles back to Albany. It was honestly a huge blessing though because we were not only able to make it home safe but we were also able to make it to the dinner appointment that we had that night about 8 miles away from our house. By the time we pulled back up to our apartment, we had 9 miles left of gas. The Lord really does bless His servants when they are doing His work, and when they show a little bit of faith:) 

As for some fun news, we were able to do some service for a member family and help them process some of the chickens they raised for food. We killed 40 or so chickens, and I participated in all stages of it. I have pictures of it to prove to y'all that I did it, but if you get queasy easy don't look at the pictures:)

We also got to go fishing for a little bit. We didn't catch anything, but we still had lots of fun! :)

Life is good:) I love you all!

Love forever and always,

Sister Monica Walker

Mother's Day

Dearest Mother,

I loved seeing all of your faces yesterday:) It was awesome to see my family, as well as all the other people that decided to say hi:) It's amazing to see how much people have grown in the last year even. I feel like they have grown so much while I am on my mission. Even more so then they did when I went to college for a year.

Here are some fun stories that happened this week:)

So last week like I told you were transfers. Neither I nor my companion got transferred, but one of the Elders did. It was the first time he was leaving an area, so it was really hard for him. We decided to cheer him up on Monday and so we planned out his whole P-Day for him:) One of the things we did was have a flour fight. I don't know if you have hear or seen it done before, but it was super fun! We didn't want the Elders to know what we were doing though, so we blindfolded them, and had one of the members with us to help guide them to the field of grass a little bit away from our apartment complex. We had earlier prepared a bunch of little nylon sacks filled with flour to take with us. When we got about halfway there, I realized that we had forgotten them, so I had to run back and get them. We told the Elders to stay where they were and we would be right back. When we got back, we discovered one of the Elders decided to try to keep walking, and then he stopped in the middle of the road. (It was a good thing there was a member with them to make sure they didn't get hit by a car.) Sister Danible decided to try and scare them, since they do it all the time to us, so we crept up behind them, and yelled in their ears. It was pretty funny because they jumped about two feet. haha. We kept going though and made it to the field, where we had them stand for a minute so we could take pictures and then we started to hit them with flour! They took their blindfolds off at that point and then retaliated against us, so by the end we were all covered in flour. It was awesome! Sad to see Elder Anderson go, but it was fun to welcome our new Elder here. :) I really do love being a missionary because of all the life long friends that you make with not just the missionaries, but the members as well:)

There really is a lot of potential here in the Albany ward. Yesterday I was telling you a little about it, but I thought I would repeat myself today as well. On Saturday, we planned on going to a little town called Edison (which is about 45 mins away) and then head over to Blakely (which is about 40 mins past that). There are a lot of potential people there for us to teach, that previous missionaries haven't had the opportunity to go to yet because of the far away distance. This month Sister Danible and I have been trying to plan out more of the far away places for us to go visit and then to hopefully help them realize the importance of what we do. While we were out and about, we met with 8 different people, all of whom said that they wanted us to come back, all of whom we were able to set return appointments for in two weeks!! It was amazing to me to see the difference in their attitude towards missionaries when they haven't had us knocking on their doors for the past long while, and how willing they were to listen to us, especially when they hear how far we went to talk to them. It makes me think about how much their souls are worth and that honestly, they are worth a whole lot more than what I have to offer. People coming to Christ is worth any sacrifice I have to make, even if it means a long day of a lot of traveling for me and my companion to come teach them about the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ.

If I haven't learned anything else, I have learned a part of how much Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ loves each and every one of us. None are more entitled to His love than any other, and all are equally loved. I know how much He loves me, and I know that He feels that same love for everyone else. I am honored to be the one who gets to help others understand that even more than they might already know. God is most definitely alive! Not just figuratively like many believe, but actually, in the flesh. He watches over every one of us, and knows exactly what you need when you need it. He will always make sure you have all the support you need to get though something when you are going through hard times, but sometimes we just have to dig a little deeper to find them.

I love all of you! (Even those I might not actually know.. I love y'all too!)

Keep on keeping on!

Love,

Sister Monica Walker

Love Being a Missionary

Dearest Mother,

I forgot for a moment that Thursday is also the day Jake is getting married, and for a minute I was honestly shocked that all of y'all would get together to celebrate my birthday. I had a moment where I felt super important and loved and missed, and I knew I was the favorite and the "glue" that holds our family together, and then you reminded me that it was Jake's wedding, and reality came crashing down... hahaha I super excited for them though! And they couldn't have picked a better day to be married! Especially since you all will be able to celebrate my birthday too because of it:) Eat some cake for me! I never did get an official wedding invitation though, so could you send me pictures of the wedding? Because I know that you will be taking some, even if you aren't the photographer or whatever.. That's just you:)

My companion and I were talking about this being the nethermost part of the vineyard yesterday too!! Maybe it was because we actually got to go to Gospel Doctrine yesterday and you and I probably had the same lesson, but I do think it is pretty awesome that our thoughts were running along the same lines. Must be true then! Granted it is true regardless of where I am. Great minds think alike right?

When I get home from my mission, for the month that I will be home, I do want to help as much as I can with the people there. I'm not sure how much I can do in a month, but I will be back that following summer and I will do stuff then too. So you can tell Brother Hawkins he can use me if he needs me when I get home. I really do like visiting people, and sharing with them the gospel makes it all the more valuable of time used:)

I think the last W is Work. Except then it doesn't flow with the other words, but it would fit in the point of personal revelation! Because you have to work for it, even if you are willing and worthy and wise enough, you have to put forth effort to receive more from Heavenly Father. He rewards our effort more than our intention, even though He still takes that into consideration.

That is so awesome that the youth are singing to the people in the Retirement Homes. I have gone to visit a lot of members in those kinds of places, and it is so sad when I hear that we have been their only visitors for a long time, or we are the ones who come the most consistently, even over their own family that live in the same city just a few blocks down the road. They definitely love having people come visit them, even if it is just to sing songs to them. It doesn't even matter if we can sing well, as long as we try, they always love it. (So do the workers, I have had many refer to us as the angel singers) Super cute!

It is interesting for me to find people to teach who are your age Mom. I try to imagine what it would have been like if you hadn't known the gospel yet, and what it would have been like to teach you, and it has been pretty cool, first because I honestly don't know what you would be like if you didn't have the gospel in your life, and second, it really helps me to better relate to these people that we teach when I am reminded of you every time I teach them.

I really do love being a missionary! I have been so blessed to love all the people that I have met and I know I will continue to love people that I haven't even met yet. Yesterday was awesome as well, even though it was Sunday, and many people use that day as a literal day of rest and don't do anything, there were 4 members that were willing to come with us to visit some people, and some of them even drove with us an hour away to go give a blessing to a less active that will be going in for foot surgery this week! #Hisday That was a blessing in and of itself, because they hadn't seen this lady for a long time, and they were all good friends with her, but because they just expected her to come back by herself, hadn't seen her in a long while. Member relationships are important, and even if for whatever reason, friends aren't willing or interested in hearing about something important to your life (aka the church and the gospel) thats ok. BE A FRIEND FIRST. And then worry about the rest later. I talked a little about this in Relief Society yesterday, and really if someone says no to an invitation, its not the end of the world, just make sure you let them know that it is ok, that you still want to be friends, but if they ever do want to hear more, or they are ever curious, to let you know and that you would love to share. Christ's gospel is a gospel of love, not of forcefulness or condemnation. We are to love people to the church, not anything else.

Don't forget! 3 days 24 minutes and counting!! Also tell Jake congrats:)

Love you lots!!

Sister Monica Walker

PS I didn't really realize until my mission how close Mother's Day is to my Birthday.. I get to skype you in 3 weeks!!! Crazy right? Also it means that Dad has to find somebody new to speak on Mother's Day as I spoke the last two years on Mother's Day. Maybe it's just because he knows how much I love my mom:):)

New Place, New Companion, Stronger Testimony

Dear Mother,

Now that I hopefully don't have to worry about bed bugs (hopefully, unless I carried them with me when I left Columbus), I am doing a lot better. As I told you last week, I got transferred, and I am now in Albany, GA!! Side note for Brother Hawkins, yes, people remember him, and I was told that I can have some good stories of him when he was a kid here. From what I can understand, they are very similar to Robert Stories. Super excited to hear more. They think well of the Hawkins family here though. So it was cool to be able to make that connection to this area even in my first week.

I love the area already! There is an investigator here who has the same name as me, and it is the strangest thing to hear people say my first name, even when they aren't talking about me. Mostly though that is because it doesn't feel quite like my name right now. Kind of fun though! Monika is super nice and she is currently on date to be baptized in June. Hopefully that date sticks, because she thinks she might have to move to Atlanta soon, but whatever happens, I know the Lord will provide a way:)

My new companion is Sister Danible, and she is super awesome! It turns out that she served in my last area, and that she left 6 weeks before I got there, so she knows a lot of the same people as I do. It has been fun in the last few days reminiscing about all the people we knew there, and the many more people that came or progressed after she left. I was surprised to find out that there were a lot of people that she had been talking to that had somehow been lost after she and her companion had been whitewashed (her companion completed her mission, and she got transferred). It really hit home for me the importance of record keeping. Its also why it is so important for the ward members to be involved in everything because when things like this happen, then the members know who the missionaries had been seeing and will be better able to help the new missionaries figure out what they need to be doing, and giving them some people that they can go see. 

Sister Danible is from Idaho, and she has actually been out one transfer longer than I have, which is definitely a change from being the "oldest" sister missionary in my last zone. I was pretty sure there weren't that many Sister Missionaries that were out longer than I was, and I am glad to report that there are some, but they are hidden all in the other zones. I love Sister Danible already though because she is such the sweetest person ever! She also is more willing to go on fun adventures than some people are, seen by the fact that last Saturday when we almost slid into a ditch (multiple times), because it was stormy and we were on a dirt road, she and I just laughed and screamed the whole way through. Haha It was fun:) and it reminded me of all the fun adventures we have gone through on our trips to Utah and Oregon.

I've settled in pretty well here, which is awesome. And I am certainly ready for some fun adventures in Albany!

Well I love you, but I have to get off soon, so I will end my letter with a short testimony. 

I know so much more so now than ever before, of the reality of Christ's love for us! He is real! He really did suffer so much for us so that we can be happy. He did not have to do any of what He did, and if He so chose, He could have left us to ourselves, but He didn't. He sacrificed himself for each and every one of us. And He felt everything we did. Not just something similar, but EXACTLY what we feel. He is the only one who knows. He knows how to help. He loves us. And I love Him. I am honored to be numbered among those around the world who bear His name on a little black name tag. I am honored to be considered worthy enough to represent the one perfect Being. I, an imperfect person, representing He who is above all. What a responsibility. I love being a missionary, and I am super grateful for the opportunity to serve all around Southern Georgia! I love it! I bear my witness to you as His missionary that He lives! In Jesus Christ's name, Amen.

Love,

Sister Monica Walker

PS at the time of this email, 24 days exactly [until her birthday]!! Cause I'm sending it right at 9:55 California time:)

Taking Care of Yourself

Dearest Mother,

Here's a story I didn't tell you when it happened, but I will now:) (I'm telling it now, because it has to do with trusting in the Lord.) A couple of weeks ago Sunday morning I woke up in the middle of the night not feeling super well, and slept sporadically for the rest of the morning until our alarm went off at 6:30 at which time I got up to get ready for the day and for church (since it was Sunday.) I was both hot and cold at the same time (which is a bizarre feeling) but felt well enough to go to church, especially knowing how important it was for us to go. Anyway, we got to church, at which point, I then have a headache. It got to the point where I started crying because I really don't like being sick on my mission, and I knew that I would have to go home soon because it wasn't getting any better. I actually ended up leaving halfway though sacrament to go lie down in one of the classrooms nearby to see if that helped at all before I really had to go home. Didn't really help. So I ended up getting a blessing from the Elders before heading home, because I really didn't want this to last super long since there was so much work that Sister Maher and I had to do, and anytime I get sick on my mission I feel bad taking a break because there are people we need to see and lives we need to touch and we only have a short amount of time to do so.

Let me pause the story here and tell you how much I love the Priesthood! It really is the power of God, and whether someone uses it for me to help me heal or for comfort or for all those sacred ordinances that I take part in, it always makes me happy, and it reminds me that my Heavenly Father loves me and knows me individually and personally. Those blessing especially remind me that He is aware of all my needs, whether it is here in Georgia or home in California.

So back to the story, in the blessing I got, I was reminded that it is super important for me to not only take care of those around me, but that I need to remember to take care of myself too. I was kind of rebuked a bit just because so much of my focus in the last few months have been on other people, whether it was my companion, or those I teach or just those that I love in my life. Many a prayer has been said for all others in my life, and honestly I don't know if I ever prayed for myself. Heavenly Father told me in this blessing that I needed to take care of myself and get better before I could help other people. I thought it was strange for me to be told to focus on myself before I helped other people, because usually the Lord asks us to be unselfish, and this felt like He was telling me to be selfish for a moment. I ended up going home, and fell asleep for a total of 14 hours (I woke up a couple of times throughout the evening, but was still too tired to do anything so I had to go back to sleep).

That week, I was reading in the Ensign one of those short stories in the back about people's spiritual experiences, and I came across a story about this woman who suddenly had to start taking care of her aging mother in addition to all of her children and in addition to her already demanding calling in the church. In this story, this lady literally ran herself to exhaustion from doing so much for others and not doing much for herself, and had to spend a week in the hospital because it had gotten so bad. I was reminded of the blessing I had received and the Lord's counsel to me to make sure I was taking care of myself.

I realized that as much good that I had been doing, I was taking on myself more than I should have been, mainly because I felt like it all rested on me to do it. I was then repeatedly reminded to rely on the Lord. To trust Him to take care of the things that I can't. Like the scripture in Book of Mormon says "And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order" (Mosiah 4:27).

This was a needed reminder to me that I can't do everything. There is a reason missionaries are not sent on missions one by one, but rather two by two, that my companion is there to help share the load. There is also a reason why we have District Leaders and Zone Leaders and Senior Couples and a Mission President (and his wife), who are all there to help if I need it. The Lord provides us with the strength we need (plus a little extra) to get through what He asks of us, but that doesn't mean we have unlimited strength. It is possible to overexert ourselves due to our pride in thinking we can do it all ourselves, or to put off the help He does provide for all of His children (whether its the priesthood, doctors, or self help books). What we have to remember is that as important as it is to help other people, we should not do it to the point where it is detrimental to our own selves. He loves us just as much as He loves them, and so He wants us to take care of us too. 

That is honestly a hard lesson to learn as a missionary, but it all goes back to whether or not I trust the Lord. I will do all that I can, but then I have to let Him do the rest. I can't do everything. And that's ok.

I love my Savior! I love my Heavenly Father! And I love all the support I get from my family and those around me:) I wouldn't be here without any of that.

Love,

Sister Walker

PS I was better by the next day and it didn't really affect anything else other than that Sister Maher had to stay in the apartment with me for all those hours I was sleeping.. haha

PPS So funny story I thought I'd share.. A few weeks ago the library was doing a contest for some drawing. Thinking it would be fun to enter, but not really thinking I'd win, Sister Maher and I put our names in. I had totally forgot I had even done this, and today (while I was in the library) I got a call from the library telling me I had won the drawing! They gave me a free book:) Because I said it was a book I wanted that I didn't own.. I guess I will read it when I get home in 8 months! Hahaha

This library is awesome!

Book of Mormon

Dearest Mother :)

Oh how much I love to read your letters! It reminds me of the times that we would spend everyday talking about all the stuff we learned in our Sunday classes at church, or after the seminary classes, or our own person study and reflection on the scriptures. I'm so looking forward to that when we get back home too:) I am 10 or so pages away from finishing the Book of Mormon for the 3rd time on my mission, and it has been super awesome to make all sorts of connections this time! I studied this time in a little mini Book of Mormon, which when I finish I will be sending home for Robert in a package with a bunch of letters and some random knickknacks. I encourage y'all to look at it if you get the chance. It's pretty cool. It is in a tiny Book of Mormon though so you might have to have Robert read them to you. I love learning things in the Book of Mormon! There are so many connections in it that I had never put together before, even though it makes completely sense to have it the way it is. Pretty awesome. Also if you haven't yet, I also highly encourage you to read the article Mormon's Miraculous Book in the Feb 2016 edition of the Ensign. It brings new light to how important and amazing the abridging of the Book of Mormon was, and then to think of the miracle that the coming forth of it was as well, What else could it be but of God? Super awesome. I can't say it enough. :)

I was dubbed a princess at a member's home while we waited for dinner.. Super fun! (Little do they know, I really am a princess:))

There is one investigator we have, her name is MC, has had a pretty rough life with the Lord. When she was younger, her sister tragically died in a car accident, and she blamed God for taking her sister at an early age. From that moment and for a really long time, she wasn't very happy with God at all. she thought He was unfair and she didn't like Him at all. Recently she met a cousin she didn't know that she had had, or else a cousin she didn't know very well, who happened to be a Stake President over in Texas. In the last couple of years especially, without her realizing it, she was feeling something missing from her life, and so when her cousin came to meet them one day, she recognized that he had something that she wanted. There was a feeling about him that she liked. She agreed then to meet with the missionaries, and we have been teaching her since. She has a lot of hard trust issues to overcome before she can be baptized, but it is so cool to see her make those little steps that she does to get closer to her Heavenly Father. I love teaching the people here! There are so many that I could talk about, but that would take too much time. So for now that is what I will say. I will think of who I want to talk about next week, and hopefully I remember. :)

I will pray for Dad and Josh and all the rest of you in your various courses of life. All will be well I know it:)

I love you all!! Keep being you! Because you is awesome!

Love Sister Walker:)

I went bowling with an eye patch on, because my eye got super irritated and I wanted to see how hard it was to bowl with an eye patch on.. I GOT A 125! Probably the highest I ever had.. And it was with my left eye, my non-dominant eye.. super crazy.. You have a pretty strange daughter.. but then you have to remember whose daughter I am, and then it all makes sense:) 

Love Reading the Scriptures

Dear Mom,

Transfers were 2 weeks ago. I might not have mentioned it because neither I nor my companion were changed. It's a bit strange to not be a part of transfers.

My companion and I are one of three sets of missionaries in my ward. There is a Spanish set of Elders, and an English set of Elders, and us. I'm almost positive that in this mission, I will never cover more than one ward, and if I am ever by myself in a congregation, its a good chance that it is a branch, or a group. We almost always use our car to get to the different places we have to go, and then walk around for a little bit. It's hard to not use our car because our area from top to bottom is close to 25 miles. And we live closer to the top of the map where there are less people, so it would be hard to not have our car and try to reach the bottom of the map, especially when we don't ride bikes.. if you want to see my area, you can go to maps.lds.org and look up the Rivercrest Ward. Those boundaries are my boundaries. It's only half of Columbus, because the other ward covers the rest and then some..

I think the things I have learned the most, the abilities that have been enhanced as I serve as a missionary, are honestly my abilities to study. I had poor study habits at home, and I never really figured it out, being here on a mission though helped me to learn how to effectively study for myself and or other people. I love those few hours in the morning that I get to study my scriptures and talk to my companion about the things we learn as we study. The scriptures have opened up so much for me! I am on my 3rd reading of the Book of Mormon since I have gotten on my mission, and I am amazed at the connections that I can make from the smallest lines. Here is something I learned this week from my studies, that I was telling my mission president about.

This week has also been very interesting as I have been reading the Book of Mormon again and looking specifically for wisdom and insight that will help me improve myself, and to become more like Christ. I know all these stories. I have heard them my whole life, but the connections I have been making in the past few weeks, are amazing! And they are little things that I should know already, but for whatever reason never connected. For example, in the story of the 2000 stripling warriors, we always talk about the effect their mothers had on them, the spiritual growth and example that they were, but I learned last week that it mentions the fathers too and how they sent provisions to their sons. I knew that, but I thought it was cool that the scriptures mentioned something that the fathers of these 2000 boys did to help them, and to me it was awesome as well because you can see from that that without either of them, they wouldn't have survived. Without provisions, they had no energy. Without the Spirit, they would not survive. Both parents therefore were essential to their surviving the battles they faced. Just like today. Super awesome.

Its cool to see the connections between everything. I will send home the mini Book of Mormon I am using during this reading of it and you can see more of the connections that I have made as I read. Reading the book itself is much different than just hearing the story. There are so many details that you miss by just relating the story. Those ah-ha moments when after reading the connection is made to see that this particular thing relates to this other thing. I don't think I would be able to make these connections as easily had I not been on my mission.. I love [reading] my scriptures! It's super awesome. It brings new light as to why we are supposed to read our scriptures instead of just listen to the stories. Because it isn't the stories that are necessarily the important stuff. Sometimes is the words on the page that will stand out to you in a way that will help you right then and there.

Love you all! Sorry this letter is short..

Sister Walker

Tying It Into A Gospel Principle

Dearest Mother,

I actually get to email on a Monday this week!! There have been so many holidays it seems, so I feel like it has been a long time since I have emailed on Monday, and then also just so you know, next week my mission president decided to have our Zone Conference on Monday so our P-day is going to be Tuesday. (So no email until Tuesday).

That is so awesome that you used the training I gave a few weeks ago in your seminary class! It didn't really go as planned when I did it with my district either, but it was really cool to see the outcomes that could occur, and how you can still tie that in to the gospel. One thing I have loved that you helped install in me is the ability to tie anything to a gospel principle. It helps a lot when I am trying to talk to other people about the gospel, and they start to go into tangents about the weirdest things, and as long as I know what they are talking about, then I am able to tied it back into the gospel. The hardest part is tying it not just into anything, but to specific principles. For example, tying in Star Wars to the principle of how Heavenly Father loves us. If I can do it though, it helps me understand the investigator or the person we are teaching better though because we will start with whatever principle, and somehow it made them think of the tangent they went on, and if I can make a connection back to whatever principle we are trying to discuss then it helps me understand better how this person thinks, and what would be most effective in getting their attention, and allowing the Spirit to direct as needed. It's an interesting exercise to do, and I want to practice it more, because it is fun trying to get it all together, where everyone is on the same page. There are so many skills we learn as youth and children that I never really thought I would use as a missionary. Its a wonderful blessing to be able to recognize the help that my Heavenly Father has given me throughout my life to help prepare me for where I am right now with the people I am with in this very moment. Kinda cool..

So a short funny story.. Our dishwasher exploded bubbles last Friday for no apparent reason.. It was a good thing we were home planning otherwise we probably would have come home hours later to a kitchen filled with bubbles. So I spent two hours cleaning the floor and behind the fridge from all the grime and water and bubbles, while my companion continued planning. It was an interesting but super disgusting experience. Cleaning under refrigerators are not something I like to do, especially when I can't identify what some of the stuff is that I am cleaning up.. (especially when I have to be on my hands and knees to clean it). 

Other funny thing was that this morning when Sister Maher had her clothes running in the washing machine, it started in the spin cycle, and we heard a clunk, and then it was making a lot of noise, that it hadn't ever done before. So basically it was an affirmation that our apartment is old and all the appliances are starting to fail.. I wonder if the warranties are expiring..

Oh and also our oven burns our cookies anytime we try to make cookies.. So that's fun too.. Our microwave seems to be working ok though even though its also super old.. Hopefully it will last for the next while (at least until I leave.)..

I am glad the family is doing well! And how exciting to hear that Jake is getting married!! So exciting!! and Veronica too? Who too? I might actually know who that one is, unless things have changed since I left on my mission..

Also, I was emailing Hollie, and she told me that Tristine had a baby!! so exciting! It is kinda weird to think of how life moves on while you are on a mission though. But all is good.

Love you forever!

-Sister Walker

PS 80 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Until her 20th birthday].